Sex..?? Funny Thought bout sex

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

This is how India got its name.....

The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"

What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than
have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. "

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.